The only important thing I had to do today was get the trash can to the street before the garbage man came. Yes, I know, I am living the life. (Or am I?) After doing so, I crawled back in bed and subjected myself to a dream that most accurately reflects my current state of affairs.
AE, DR and I were going somewhere and we were in a hurry. We had to stop by the ATM to get cash but when we got there we found a long line of cars. Me, thinking I was being observant, chose the lane on the far left of the building. There was no one in this line and I thought I was taking advantage of a window of opportunity! Kinda like the double drive thru at McDonalds. Sometimes, for whatever reason, people would rather wait in line with the other cars instead of taking a chance on the fact that the second lane might not be open. We were running late afterall and had no time to wait.
Trouble is, when I almost got to the ATM, I was faced head on with another car coming from the opposite direction. Damn it! There’s a reason no one chose this lane. It was the exit lane for people coming from the front of the building. And to make matters worse, by the time I realized I was going the wrong way, cars had already filed into the adjoining lane, leaving no room for me to back up. I was stuck. And now I would be forced to reckon with the same people that essentially just saw me skip them in line.
I’ll spare the details of all the cajoling but I will share the interaction with the heavy set balding man wearing an Alabama track suit and outdated glasses. He was the speaker of the mob so its only fitting. “We ain’t lettin’ you back outta’ here. Why should we? You were quick to wheel around us to be first in line. Seems the tables have turned, ain’t they?” He had a point. “It’ll serve you well to have to sit here a while and watch as we all go ahead of YOU.” Fine, I told him. But asked if the group would be OK with me pulling my money from the ATM while they all utilized the tellers at the window. I would serve my penance by waiting, even after I had my cash, until each and every one of them made their transaction and was on their way before I left, too. They reluctantly agreed.
I ran back to the car, grabbed my wallet to get my ATM card, only to find I had cut my card into pieces! What the…? It’s Friday and I need cash for the weekend! Oh wait, I’ll just write a check for ‘cash’ and run into the lobby. When I turned to go inside, the security guard was locking the door. I looked at the hours on the door and read ‘Lobby Hours: 9-5. Drive Thru Tellers: 9-6’. I looked at my watch: 5:07p.m. Damn it, again! There was no way the angry mob was going to let me in any of their teller lines. I was screwed. My ego was bruised after taking a chance that didn’t pan out, I had no operable ATM card, no cash, and now we were really going to be late.
Then I woke up, but wouldn’t you agree? Current state of affairs? Choosing the wrong path, being forced to wait it out, having no cash, running out of time?
By the way, my trash is still sitting there, awaiting its free ride to the landfill. I am sure it’s thinking it, too, could have slept in a few more hours.