Dear Mr. and Mrs. Potential Home Buyer,
The time has come for us to all just be honest. You go first. No wait, I’M going first. You really can’t afford my home can you? That’s OK, at this point, I can’t either. The difference is, you’ve known all along that you can’t afford it. That’s why your initial offer was what it was. Then you saw it necessary to take up an entire weekend with counter offers that really just wasted the time of all parties involved. Yes, I played the game, too. Maybe that’s why we have this latest development. You think I am desperate to sell my home, don’t you?
Well, I’m not. And I’m not going to give her away to you. You see, I happen to love this house and all of its flaws. I am well aware of all the things you pointed out. However I’d like to point out the one thing you did overlook. Hanging in the hall is a picture that reads: “Pile of plaster, bricks and sticks. She leans and buckles, even burps from time to time. Still, we call her home, and we love her too!” Let that be a testament to how I feel about my home. In my neighborhood, we call it character. Things you can’t request the local mass producer of cookie-cutter homes boasting tray ceilings and double-paned windows to add to the build out sheet. Hey, you have your amenities and I have mine.
So let me ask, have you looked at houses on the other side of the interstate yet? You might find one there that’s a little more suited for your taste.