How long does it take a person to stare at the ceiling before they finally realize they aren’t going back to sleep? For me, it took 1 hour and 23 minutes. I woke up at exactly 4:00a.m. as if I had set my alarm clock. It wasn’t my fault really. (Never is) I had one of those dreams that’ll be hanging around in my mind for a while so, of course, I immediately started analyzing it, once I realized I was in fact dreaming. My attempts at calling in the sheep before my mind started reeling failed. Again.
After defining the symbolic nature of each component of my dream, I went on to think about my house. I admitted to myself, once again, that my last blog post is probably the reason why the deal fell through. I am a flag waving advocate of the highroad for chrissake! (I guess even preachers sometimes stumble.) “Everything happens for a reason,” AE reminded me. Does it? Or is that just one of the things we say to ourselves when things don’t work out the way we had hoped. “What is meant to be will be.” I don’t know about that either. Sounds a lot like saying, “I’m tired of thinking about it. I am going to take a nap now.” So I am going to go the karma route on this one. It was bad karma that I sent out into the universe with my nasty blog post, so now I am going to make an attempt to right my wrong:
Dear previously named Potential Homebuyers, best of luck to you. I hope you find the perfect home and fill it full of all the tangible and intangible things you’ve always dreamed of.
Done. ::wiping my hands clean::
Next I pondered my current state of employment, or lack thereof. About how potential employers no longer reach out to say “we received your information, and while the paper you sent it on sure was pretty, we are going to continue looking for a candidate that is a little more qualified”. I understand though. Resumes are being sent by the ga-zillions these days. Who has time to mail out a pre-written form letter to an applicant? Not to mention the cost of a stamp to send said form letter. Companies are on tight budgets, ya know? Do you even know how much it costs to buy a ga-zillion stamps?
Then I started thinking about boys, and how I might have been on to something by just staying on the porch.
From there I went on to think about a friend of mine from the 4th grade. His name was Carlos. He was one of the few black kids in our private school and I remember how it use to make me sad that he wasn’t always treated fairly. He would try his best to take up for himself with the adults, but being the respectful kid that he was, he knew he didn’t have a chance. Wonder what he’s up to this days?
So here I am. Awake. I am going to pretend like I planned it. That I had all intentions to get up and watch the sunrise. To get a jump start on what I had already predicted to be a productive day. Got things to do and people to see! Right? Right??