Category Archives: Random Musings

Any Given Tuesday

I drove my 20 minutes in to work today in complete silence.  Without the distractions of talk radio, I made a few observations:

The kid sitting by himself on the school bus.  I wonder if he’s nervous about a quiz?  A girl?  I wonder if his parent’s fought last night?  Is he afraid someone is going to beat him up and take his snack?  Again.  Maybe he’s thinking about the design plan for the next super-computer, or the DNA make-up of some creature found only in the Amazon.  Maybe he’s thinking of nothing at all.

It’s cool that we Share the Road with bicyclists, but aren’t they all sweaty by the time they peddle in to work?  He must be a personal trainer.  Or a heavy equipment operator.  Or he just doesn’t care that he’s all sweaty by the time he makes his way to his cubicle.

I’m glad to see they’re making progress on the Technical College that’s been under construction for 2+ years.  I’m pretty sure there’s a reason they chose the 3 acres that sit directly across from the convenient store that has been “serving ice cold Bud products for over 50 years” and offers 3 packs of Kools at a discount.

Two women are walking into their respective places of employment.  The look on the face of the woman wearing the mandatory fast food cap and faded polo shirt is quite different than that of the woman carrying a Thermos of coffee and a bagged lunch.  Thank you Mama and Daddy.

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Filed under Day Dreamin', Random Musings

“Did Someone Say Tally-Ho?”

Like books, our lives, (or at least MY life) has chapters.  And here I am, closing one chapter of my life and starting a new one.

For those of you that have followed this blog, you know that my, what I deemed sabbatical, began 9 months ago almost to the day.  (Go ahead, click here and stroll down memory lane) I pulled my car to the side of the proverbial road of life and I took a break. As much as I would like to say I took the last 9 months doing something productive, like, learning a new language or, gestating a child, I did not.  I partied.  And I partied my ASS off!  And if I wasn’t partying, I was recovering from said party by staring blankly out the window.  What a waste!, one might think.  And admittedly I thought that from time to time myself.  If in January I knew I would have been going back to work in October, I may have traveled.  Or taken a class.  Or I would have done…something.  I should have, could have, would have.   Bleh! Hindsight and the whole 20/20 thing.  We all know it’ll make you crazy.

But you know what…my life in 2010 has been at the complete opposite end of the spectrum of what it was in 2009.   I decided a few months ago, as I was fending off the veil of depression that was looming, that I would hold my head high, and be proud of the fact that I worked hard to afford myself the luxury, productive or not, of a 9 month hiatus.  SO “F*ck responsibility”, is what I said and partied on.

(…)

OK, time to be honest.  I had visions of a dramatic “chapter closing” blog entry but now that I’m sitting here, it feels forced.  Me being physically where I am right now is a BIG deal for me.  HUGE.  I have shared this sentiment with a few already, but this is the perfect end to a, ummm, to a very…pivotal (?) no, that’s not it.  To a very…what’s the word?  *sigh*.   I would have been fine landing a decent job at home.  But don’t you see?  The fact that I threw a bunch of stuff in my car and headed North is just the the type of ‘Syonara’ I fantasized about offering to said chapter of my life.  The Finger if you will. Yet I remain humble.  It’s weird.  I am well aware that this opportunity presented itself to me because I was in the right place at the right time.  So now it’s in my hands to make this opportunity work for me.  It really is that simple.  (Duly noted because I am sure I’ll have to reference this post as a reminder of that fact.)

[I am not getting my point across…time to wrap it up.]

There’s a line in Shawshank Redemption that played itself over and over in my head during my drive here today.  “I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.” Nothing rings more true.  I am so, so, SO, excited about this next chapter I can barely contain myself.  I only hope I can open my eyes wide enough to take it all in.

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Filed under Good Times, Life, Memories, Random Musings, Suddenly Sabbatical

All I Really Need to Know I Learned From a Gay Man

Do y’all remember when this poster hit the mainstream?  That everything we need to know about living life and what to do and how to be was taught to us in kindergarten?  Some of us had what Oprah refers to as that “A-ha! moment”.  It was simple and it made sense.

Speaking of simple pieces of advice that make sense, I share with you today two gems that I learned from two different gay men.  It is necessary that I make the distinction that these two men are gay, only because I can’t think of many straight men that would offer up the following advice.

The first was with regards to fashion.  You see, I have this awesome pair of knee high boots that I positively love to wear.  Only, I am not sure what to wear them with, other than a skirt.  When the skinny jean phenomenon presented itself , I considered the idea, but only for a nano second.  I reminded myself that I am blessed with big, shapely calves and there would be no way I could stuff both my legs and a pair of jeans into these boots.  (Besides the fact that I am not a skinny jeans kinda gal.)

So I asked my friend, J Noveau for his fashion advice.  You know what he said?  “Girl, it doesn’t matter what you wear as long as you own it,” as he offered up his best gay pose.  (If you know J Noveau, you know the exact pose of which I speak — diva finger, hip slightly forward and to the right)  He was larger than life!  Confident!  And his statement was spot on.  “A-ha!” I thought.

The second and most helpful piece of advice came from my friend DZ.   DZ and I don’t talk often but when we do, it always proves to be very poignant.  This night would be no different.  I found myself in a hot mess over, you guessed it, a boy, one weekend night.  DZ brought over banana bread (like any good gay friend would) and the wherewithal to solve my latest crisis.  Now I know, this is a silly analogy (or would this be a simile?), but this is my playground and it’s exactly how it felt so bear with me.  It was as if all of my thoughts and emotions flew out of me like a deck of playing cards.  Like the game 52 card pick up, they swirled around the room for a bit and finally came to a rest.  Scattered haphazardly on the kitchen floor, he stood and watched as I aimlessly kicked them all about.  He slowly bent down and picked up one single card, looked me in the eye and posed this question, “Does it really matter?”

“Ho-ly Shit.” He was so right!  It really didn’t matter.  And just like that, I felt better.  Now I realize this moment is probably very anti-climatic for most, but it hit home with me.  There once was a time when I was pretty good about keeping things in perspective.  But lately my insecurities have gotten the best of me (hence the fashion advice above).  It really is as simple as asking, “Does it really matter?”  Things, don’t have to be so complicated.  Anything really…boys, work, family, friends, life…whatever.

So I share these two morsels with you dear reader:  If you find yourself over-complicating things, slow down, untangle the mess and simplify.  And if you decide to don your skinny jeans, just own them and you’re sure to look fabulous!

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Filed under Boys, Life, Random Musings, Vanity

Who Really Cares?

What is the determining factor of someone’s type?  C’mon, you know what I mean by ‘type’.  Chest hair?  No socks?  Beer guzzler?  Cowboy hat?  Hair product?  Intellectual?  I guess everyone has a ‘type’, but the question is, what is the differentiation between your type and the type that someone else has in mind for you?  What is it that they’re seeing that you don’t even realize you’re portraying?  Meaning, if you have in mind your type, and they have in mind something different…what does that mean?  What are you sharing with the world?  I suppose the better question should be…

Who really cares?  However, I still wonder.

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Filed under drinks, Random Musings

Time to Analyze

I dream often it’s just rare that I remember and its even more rare that a dream sticks with me well into the morning.  This is one of those so I have to get it out of my head and out into the cosmos.  I can identify the origin of some of the content, but  not all.  Care to give it a shot?

Me cooking cod fish = Watching Daisy Cooks last night, a cooking show on PBS where the hostess was cooking mussels and cod fish for a dinner party.  Daisy advised us that you have to be careful with cod fish because it’s very delicate and can flake apart.  Turns out I remembered that snippet as I was very gentle with the fish in my dream.

Living in a wrecked house with broken furniture where my roommates consisted of AE, a girl I use to work with, and some other people I didn’t know = Well, umm, I’m not sure.  I’m gonna have to dig into that one.  Wrecked house = my house not selling?  Broken furniture = Good Lord, the sky’s the limit on that one!  Broken heart?  Broken dreams?  Being broke!  I understand being roommates with AE, but not the girl I use to work with.  Maybe because I thought she was hot, and who doesn’t want to have hot people hanging around?

AE and I attending a Baptist church service where AE fled the church when the preacher attempted to cover the entire congregation with a giant blanket.  And later I witnessed stage props collapse on top of the participants of a sketch.  Let’s see, I always find it particularly interesting when I dream about religion.  This dream didn’t have a very positive overture so I am not sure what that’s about.  I personally enjoyed church this past Sunday as it addressed something that I’ve been struggling with for quite some time now.  Just sayin’.  So what’s it all mean?  I know AE doesn’t have a problem with organized religion, but I am not sure how she feels about giant blankets.  As for the collapsing props…ooh, the rescheduling of the Jimmy Buffett concert out of fear the integrity of the stage would be compromised?  That seems silly and I should be ashamed that I would even mildly compare Jimmy Buffett to a church play.

On a side note, kudos to me for getting the grass cut just in the nick of time!  Now I hope it rains all day.  My air conditioner, of which has been running 24/7 for the past three weeks, could certainly use a break.

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Filed under house, Night Dreamin', Random Musings

An Afternoon With Tom

Editor’s Note: Laugh if y’all want,but this really happened.  I swear!

It’s not everyday that a stranger knocks on my door.  I was smart enough to peak out the window before answering it.  From behind the drapes of my dining room, I did my best to perform a quick once over of the man on my porch.  I noted a cotton button-up shirt, linen shorts, and Topsider shoes.   I couldn’t see his face, but I quickly realized this was no stranger.

“Where the hell have you been?” I asked standing in the open doorway.

“Hey darlin’,” he responded as he pulled off his aviator sunglasses.  “Miss me?”

Tom Collins.  The most charming man I had ever met.  He knew all the right things to say at all the right times and I had been a sucker more than once.  We’ve spent many a season together, but only a season at a time.  Somehow he always knew when I needed his attention, and somehow he also knew when his work was done.  Granted, he  always left unexpectedly, leaving me feeling confused, but I would never tell him that.  It’s part of the game.  The mystique of never knowing what the next move is going to be.  That’s the allure of Tom Collins.  You certainly wouldn’t settle down with a guy like Tom, but he’s such a pleasure to have around.

“What are you doing here?”

“Awww, come on now.  That’s not happy to see me, now is it?” he playfully asked with that crooked smile that gets me everytime.  “Something told me I needed to stop by and say hello.”

“Well hello, you’re just in time for a cocktail, ” I said with a smile, “Sit tight.  I’ll be right back.”

As luck would have it, I had just fixed a pitcher of one of my favorite springtime elixirs.  Gin, mixer, club soda, grenadine for fun, and a cherry garnish.  Company or not, I had all intentions of spending the afternoon in the sunshine.

I met Tom on the front porch with the cocktails and offered him his glass.  “Thank you, ma’am,” he said.

He took a long drink as I watched him intently.  I was hoping it would conjure up the same memories for him as it did for me.  “Damn, just as good as always.  I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your touch.  So tell me what’s new with you.”

“Ha!  You got all night?”

“For you, I’ve got as long as you want, or need for that matter.”

And with that, Tom Collins and I settled in with our cocktails talking and laughing well into the night.  There had always been a certain spark between the two of us.  Regardless of the fact that we both know it wouldn’t work, there was still a special chemistry.  We talked about where we had been, and the paths we had chosen, both right and wrong.  He made me feel special by hanging on to my every word, and I stroked his ego by giving him kudos for doing so.

Tom put his empty glass on the table.  “Well, darlin’, it’s late and I need to get going.”

“So soon?” I asked wryly.

“You take care, and quit worrying so damn much.  You are much prettier without that furrowed brow.”

He took my face in his hands and kissed me softly on the mouth.   “Good night, gorgeous.”

I smiled as I watched him walk to his car.  ‘How does he know?’ I thought.  Right when I’m at the point of suffocating, he rides in to town offering the breath of fresh air I didn’t even know I needed.

“Salute, Tom Collins,” I said quietly as I lifted my glass and watched him drive away.

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Filed under drinks, Life, Random Musings

Dear Potential Home Buyers

"Royal and Green and Rarely Seen" James Michalopoulos

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Potential Home Buyer,

The time has come for us to all just be honest.  You go first.  No wait, I’M going first.  You really can’t afford my home can you?  That’s OK, at this point, I can’t either.  The difference is, you’ve known all along that you can’t afford it.  That’s why your initial offer was what it was.  Then you saw it necessary to take up an entire weekend with counter offers that really just wasted the time of all parties involved.  Yes, I played the game, too.  Maybe that’s why we have this latest development.  You think I am desperate to sell my home, don’t you?

Well, I’m not.  And I’m not going to give her away to you.  You see, I happen to love this house and all of its flaws.  I am well aware of all the things you pointed out.  However I’d like to point out the one thing you did overlook.  Hanging in the hall is a picture that reads:  “Pile of plaster, bricks and sticks.  She leans and buckles, even burps from time to time.  Still, we call her home, and we love her too!” Let that be a testament to how I feel about my home.  In my neighborhood, we call it character.  Things you can’t request the local mass producer of cookie-cutter homes boasting tray ceilings and double-paned windows to add to the build out sheet.  Hey, you have your amenities and I have mine.

So let me ask, have you looked at houses on the other side of the interstate yet?  You might find one there that’s a little more suited for your taste.

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Filed under house, Life, Random Musings